God's Little Tree Hugger

It’s amazing, how to describe what isn’t seen. My sister, as she’s known, Nessa and one of my dear friends, Cale, were discussing today how man is so keen on categorizing and naming things. It’s true that in the Garden of Eden, the Lord told Adam to go out and name everything there. I think that’s why it is so engrained in our nature. This need to describe, to discern. Precious things. It causes expansion at times, real creative flow.

I was reading through a journal I kept during one of the hardest times of my life, last fall after my boyfriend at the time had tragically been estranged from me. At the time, I did not at all, know the Lord how I do now, and yet I see the deep desire to describe, to understand.

From my personal journal:

“You are all I need, you’re all I need. I’m in the middle of your picture, lying in the leaves. I am a moth, who just wants to share your light.” - adaptation of Radiohead’s lyrics from ‘All I need’.

Now, through Steven’s own window [in a letter he had sent me that was in the mail at the time], will I see him again? I feel unprotected. I feel unprepared. Vulnerable. Emotions are powerful, anazing synthese of being, like the most complicated melodies, like the simplest manifestation of story. Emotion is creative creation. It is the formation of dream while the dreamer is sleeping.”

Reading back on that, and knowing what I know now about grief, emotions, despair, and where true peace and comfort come from, I see the state of disrepair I was in without having the grounding that I have now in Christ. Truly, He was there with me through all of those things, yet I couldn’t see Him. So I felt unprotected, unprepared, vulnerable in the worst way and not the best. I was living from my emotions - without them, I thought I was close to being dead, but with them, it was almost too much to handle - the formation of dream while the dreamer is sleeping. I was sleeping when I couldn’t feel, and I couldn’t seem to wake up - ever. Until Jesus.

When Steven died this summer, I did not have that same reaction. God had woken me up nearly 5 months earlier, and in the comfort of His Holy Spirit, I was able to survive that onslaught of emotion and impression - some natural, some an attack on the spirit. But I realized tonight, rereading that passage, that that sadness I felt at Steven’s death was a sadness that only the God of the Heavens could touch and deal with. Not I, not my family, not my friends… no one else could deal with that despair. And by the grace of God, I knew and trusted enough to believe and give it to Him, so He could help carry me through. And He has :) The life support form our Father in Heaven is so vital. So pertinent. So true. In sharing how His love has changed and radically reshaped my life into the masterpiece He is continuing to make of it, I feel a yearning to share that same transforming love with others.

I was talking to a sweet ladyfriend of mine tonight, Miss Emmy, ma fille ;), and was telling her that it’s really my love mixed with sincere gratitude that stirs the deepest desires in my soul to see others FIND the Love, Grace, Mercy, and Joy in the Lord. Not later, but right now! :) God is dealing with me - or rather, teaching me in His kindness - how to find balance in that way because it is simply just true that some people are not at that place yet, in their journey, to receive, seek, and know for themselves, the true goodness of the Lord. And yet, as Hope is only of God, there is hope for every other life here on this planet that they WILL find God and SEE, truly, how AMAZING Jesus is - How profound Jesus’ love is. No one else’s, just Christ. The Word says, as it is true, that only Jesus was given the glory to be the atoning sacrifice for everyone that everyone might be reconciled to the Father of Heaven, and truly there is no other name in which all authority over Heaven and Earth has been given. This, thank God, is true :)

In my life, I have lived between all kinds of worlds - spiritual, emotional, physical it seems. I have lived between “I’ll try just about anything” to “Who can I trust? what exactly is true?”. And I know that in someone’s walk through life, it’s sort of this search for what else is there and yet this trepidation to really find, which comes from dispelling doubt and the wisdom of men to seek the God of the universe in His fullness, that can really influence someone taking the steps to really throw themselves into that walk with God. But I tell you, as truthfully and graciously and humbly as I can, that the walk with God is a blessed one. It is profound and FULL of such life, love, and honestly adventure that really… it truly is more than you could ever imagine entering into it. :) I remember at times, how it was for me (and I smile as I type this) as I was first trying to “find God” in Jesus Christ, and how sometimes I would just fall all over myself in confusion or this or that. But months later, and I see how far God, Himself, has brought me in that journey :) And that’s just how He is. He wants you to seek Him and find Him. He wants to love the mess out of you, really :) Haha, that’s the true meaning of that phrase, and only God can do it, literally and literally :)

One of my favorite scriptures is this: “The Lord is a sun and a shield. He will give grace and glory. What good thing would He withhold from those who love Him?” I find that the more I get to know Jesus, our Heaven Father, and the Holy Spirit, the more I see just how entirely expansive and awesmazing (according to Nessa) His love for us is. It’s truly a God love, a love that is unnatural yet so real that it cannot be denied. I pray for you, that if you read this and feel the stirring in your own spirit, to not harden your heart and deny the call. That’s Jesus knocking on the door, either to have Him meet you for the first time, or to perhaps enter into an ever deeper communion and fellowship with Him :) It’s always a choice to let Him in or not. No one can do it for you, and whether someone “convinces you to” or you just do it on your own, it is always your choice. But it is a choice worth making. And I tell you, once you get started, you better hang on :) Because as one beautiful musician once said, “Jesus, God, He’s a wild man.” I believe He is :) The wildest, most balanced spirit ever witnessed, so full of love that He gave His life, that we might find life in Him. Please come. I want you to know the love of my life <3

Bless you in His name! Praises in His honor! Love to you always, and may goodness and mercy be your gentle embrace <3

In essence, I could write about the Nature of several things :) But this was particularly of interest to me, and I hoped it would bless you too!

As believers, it is our responsibility “to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.” (2 Peter 1:5-9). Having increasingly tried to have an increase in each of these qualities, I would say I long to progress in each step, in which I find myself currently is adding knowledge to my goodness and then self control to that knowledge so that I may increase in perseverance from which more of the godliness of the Holy Spirit’s guidance will be lived out in my life through mutual affection and love. All of these, too, encourage and strengthen my faith, that I may add goodness to it and continue to grow, and so forth :) 

The Walk is always growing, evolving, increasing - doing away with what isn’t correct in my thinking, understanding, or current place in time and replacing it with what is pleasing and correct in terms of my thinking, doing, believing, and then sharing as well. It is a profoundly exciting journey, and I look forward to each minute of the day now more than ever before, looking for those things with which the Lord uses to speak to me, teach me, and share His love to and through me. This is a blessed life.
 
My Aunt Renee recently, being the incredibly beautiful and sweet person that she is, sent me a care package to say “thank you” for helping my younger cousin Taylor with some of her essays, and such. I’d love to do it anyway, but it was such a wonderful gift in return! Inside the care package, alongside a card, a gift card, two lovely magnets which light up my fridge, and two awesome book marks, was a devotional by Oswald Chambers called My Utmost for His Highest. At first glance, I wasn’t sure about how this reading would integrate into my life, but being a devotional, I simply began with the day it arrived, and have read a passage for each day since. In short: revolutionarily sound and intriguing.
 
I’m not sure if he intended (though I think he did) to thematically group his topics, but the past three entries have been on “The Nature of Degredation, Regeneration, and Reconciliation”. Profoundly insightful. So I wanted to share one that I really enjoyed with you :)

“The Nature of Reconciliation

Sin is a fundamental relationship - it is not wrong doing but wrong being - it is deliberate and determined independence from God. The Christian faith bases everything on the extreme, self-confident nature of sin. Other faiths deal with sins - the Bible alone deals with sin. The first thing Jesus Christ confronted in people was the heredity of sin, and it is because we have ignored this in our presentation of the gospel that the message of the gospel has lots its sting and its explosive power.

The revealed truth of the Bible is not that Jesus Christ took on Himself our fleshy sins, but that He took on Himself the heredity of sin that no man can even touch. God made His own Son “to be sin” [by becoming human] that He might make the sinner into a saint. It is revealed throughout the Bible that our Lord took on Himself the sin of the world through identification with us, not through sympathy for us. He deliberately took on His own shoulders, and endured in His own body, the complete, cumulative sin of the human race. “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us…” and by so doing, He placed salvation for the entire human race solely on the basis of redemption. Jesus Christ reconciled the human race, putting it back to where God designed it to be. And now anyone can experience that reconciliation, being brought into oneness with God, on the basis of what our Lord has done on the cross. [Amen]

A man cannot redeem himself - redemption is the work of God, and is absolutely finished and complete. And its application to individual people is a matter of their own individual action or response to it. A distinction must always be made between the revealed truth of redemption and the actual conscious experience of salvation in a person’s life.”

After reading this, I found in me an even wider appreciation for Christ’s act of becoming a man that we might find life in Him after He conquered death by death. The one part of this devotional (and I do hope you enjoyed it, that it made you think, that perhaps you’re now questioning yourself and any preconceived notions…) that I did not necessarily agree with was the part about the gospel having “lost its sting and its explosive power”. I do believe that Satan has taken his time, trying to marr the image of the gospel and the true meaning of Christianity. But I know that the Word of God and Jesus Christ are still working miracles all over this planet. It’s evident in all of the lives that are changed - and not just changed like sometimes you’re nicer and you’re enjoying the thought of going to heaven (though those things are beautiful :) ) - but the hard changes. The “I know for a fact that I could not be where I am today had God not come in and rescued me from myself and the enemy of my soul” changes. I have experienced several of these radical changes in my life - as I continue to grow as well. And as I daily hear testimony after testimony after testimony of God’s GREAT love, healing power, and the desire for a personal relationship with us… I am just all the more moved and willing to seek Him and trust Him with every part of me. That is my reasonable sacrifice, to give Him my whole life, as He gave His for mine.

As always, I truly pray that you, if you have not already, will seek to find the Lord and at least give yourself the opportunity to taste and see of His goodness. It does take belief and effort on your part… but God has a way of speaking right to you. To let you, out of a room full of people, know exactly that He knows who you are, and He knows where you’re at - and most of all, that He loves you, and will never leave you (and has never), nor forsake you. It is a profoundly incredible insight to have the assurance to know that the God of all the universe knows your name and Loves you intimately as His child. It is a priviledge, and a grace unlike any other that you will find on this planet. And in that… I see the truth of resting in Him and hoping others will find His goodness as well :) I pray you will, if you haven’t already.

Love you! and God bless you in Jesus’ name <3

Today at work, my immediate mentor, Kim Nelson (formerly Kim Salinas, just married, yay!) reminded me of one of my strengths/semi-hinderances: my over-achieving self. :) It was a wonderful reminder, mainly because it was true and I hadn’t heard the phrase in a while. But also because it really helps to put in perspective where some of my challenges come from.
 
In many ways, I am very thankful to have wanted to do exceedingly well, or just to do the most that I can with a given situation, in life. I know that diligence, though not always consistent diligence to 100% of things going on (probably because I took on too many at one time), has blessed my life in terms of how God has been able and was always willing to open so many different doors in my life :) Even in how I love, I love to love you exceedingly much so that you always know, no matter what, that I do :) That’s a good thing. However, I can also go in the negative side of it where I begin to become fretful, unbalanced, and then suddenly start to shut down and appear to need more rest than what I actually do probably need. Why? because stress tires you out, wears you down, and acts like sandpaper on all parts of you that would be good, careful or -free, and effective. Then when you’re worn down and feeling raw, you’re like Whoa! How did I end up with that scar? But God is good and He knows your heart, and He works to help work all of that stuff - the bad stuff inflicted on us/the things we inflict on ourselves as well as all of the good things He wants for us that He’s able to get to us - together for our ultimate good. Oh what peace of mind it is to know my Savior.
 
When I looked at Paul’s life, at first I saw an over-achiever. Someone running around to every city, fighting evil with the help and grace of the Holy Spirit, spreading the Word and sharing the Way so that many more would be saved. I thought, whoa, I have some living-UP to do. LoL, but looking back, I now see a man who simply used his time wisely and effectively regardless the situation. Paul became a speaker, and a writer, and he wrote much of the new testament in times of imprisionment, probably during travel, etc. He just used each day he was given to do the Lord’s work and will through him, for others. It occurred to me today - thank the LORD, what a relief He is hahaha - that each and every day can and is used to help advance the kingdom of God, if that is where your heart is at. Whether it’s sharing with someone who doesn’t believe yet or just encouraging those already within the body, it is all important, all helpful, all a blessing, and God is so good. He reminded me that you don’t have to be older to be wise, though age does have its benefits :) We are all learning, all moving, all trying to help - if that’s where your heart is - advance God’s love and goodness in this world.

So essentially, on the message of satisfaction and resting in it, God has helped bring me through this harrowing process of “Oh gracious, what do I do with my life, and so forth” by helping me to see that regardless of where I’m going, I’m so thankful and satisfied with where I’m at that I just don’t even need to worry about it right now :) I love where I work - working for the Environmental Protection Agency in their labs, I love the people I work with, I love the church I go to here, I adore my little work-in-progress apartment, I enjoy being closer to home than I have been in the past 4-5 years, I love the opportunities I have here to volunteer and just the hope I have for things to come. I am so thankful and grateful in this life that I have, for what it is, which is so much more than I ever thought, dreamed or imagined it would be, and I am SO GRATEFUL for God’s blessings and favor in my life. And having chosen that good thing, which is Him, I know that He won’t be taken away from me and that no matter what, I’m covered by His grace and love, and His Spirit is guiding me more than I could ever imagine :) It’s in that realization of resting in satisfaction of where I am now that I find the peace to continue and to try to do as much as I can to enjoy and appreciate where I am now, in the now, to the extent that I can without wearing myself out to the point of not being useful, effective, or productive :) Jesus will answer your prayers. Ask Him and see :) And too - praise the LORD for beautiful friends and family, family and friends, who support, love and care for me, even in times of feeling absolutely not myself :)

I hope if you’re at a place in life where you’re feeling fretful that you know that there is a love stronger than any disaster or poor-life planning that we may do on our part that is actually guiding you and wanting to guide you even more with a greater love and intimacy than perhaps you’ve ever known before :) I hope that if you know Christ, you’ll embrace the loving hand He has on your life, and if you don’t, I pray you will welcome Him and accept His help, favor, and love - for He already loves you, wants good things for you, and hopes you will accept all of His benefits that come from just knowing who He is. We all grow, we all learn, we all have a long way to go :) But through thick and thin, His love remains, and cares for the seeds we sow. So in those times of feeling lost, and perhaps a little blue, just know that Jesus Christ is still on high, always loving you <3 (yes, I rhyme when I’m happy :D)

Even when everything is going wrong, God is always in the process of making things right. Sometimes when I remember things from my past, things that hurt me to think about, things that make me feel uncertain about where I’m going or even where I’m at currently, I always remember that even when I don’t know what’s going on (which can be frustrating), God knows the plans He has for me. He knows where my heart is, what will be good for it, and what I should do in terms of the future. I really have to wait on Him now because I can’t “think” my way out of the place I’m in. Fortunately though, I know that He is always faithful, and always true.

I hope wherever you are in life, you’re at a joyful stage of your journey :) Bless you in His name <3

I once had a dream a few months back where it was as if I was awake and staring, but I knew that I was still asleep. I was laying in bed, almost paralyzed with fear, and looking back at me behind furnacy read eyes was a huge black figure. It towered over me, but I knew too in my mind and in my heart I had been and still was praying. Then finally, when I couldn’t stand the fear anymore, I willed myself to get out of bed and to walk into the light of my living room, and there I found my mom :) (I believe - srry, the brain is rusty. lol but you get the point, I found someone who made me feel safe, whether it was my mom, dad, or brother). I stayed there for a while, and eventually I felt better, somewhat, and I either went back to bed in the dream or I woke up in real life :) Either way, I see some of why I had that dream now.

So often, we as believers put a true prescendence on the “power of Satan” and his influence in this world. True, he exists and is terrible. The Word says he walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he MAY devour, and he does try to put things on us - forms of bondage (both mental and spiritual), forms of sickness (both physical and emotional), and forms of lack (both in terms of what we physically may have to go without for a time and in terms of what he wants to keep us from in what we will find in Christ, should we seek him). But I realized today, yielding to my beloved Savior Jesus Christ, that the more we magnify the Lord in our lives, the less powerful the fear satan tries to inspire in us becomes, as we turn our hearts to the Lord. Truly the Word says, and is true, that “Nevertheless, when [the heart] shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away. Now the Lord is that Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Corin 3:16-17). That veil is fear, darkness, deceit, and that liberty is freedom, life, and life more abundantly. The more we magnify and yield to the spirit of the Lord, the greater freedom we find, for we already have it in Him who gave His life for us, in Him who would withhold no good thing from us :) But you have to believe Him! It’s just like that.

Have you ever been in the grips of fear? confusion? worry? struggles and trials that perhaps seem so overwhelming that you don’t know if you’re ever going to get through them? :) Well no, you don’t have to stay there. You can come into the light. Fear, confusion, worry, struggles, trials, etc. anything bad and evil are like dark rooms, that appear to be locked in which you can’t seem to find the light switch or the door knob. That dark room is often our own hearts, but we ourselves are the key. We have to open the door to Christ so that He may walk in, bringing with Him His glorious light so that He may begin to make us well again in Him :) The Word says in Heaven, He is the sun, for His light lights up the entire heavens. Don’t you wanna see that?? Don’t you want to know what it is to witness the Father, Son-Savior, and Holy Spirit in their realness, in their presence? I do. :) Simple as that. Though I know that I still have time here left on earth to do things, learn things, and most importantly, LOVE Him and LOVE others, I am looking forward to seeing my Savior face to face, as should and prayerfully does every believer. If you are a believer, and the Lord Jesus Christ, His Father, and Holy Spirit as one and each other have not become so real to you in your life that you can’t even imagine what it may be like to be in their presence, then I encourage you to seek Him more :) The closer we get to know the Lord, the closer we get to Him, the more tangible, real, present He becomes, and He is a true and very real presence. And it’s not scary to be very close to God :) on the contrary, it is the most amazing peace - a peace that truly surpasses all understanding. I just want you to have that. No other agenda other than I know how overwhelmingly beautiful your life can and will be should you answer the call, the knock on the door to your heart. And He never stops working - knocking, answering, planning, loving you. So at any moment on any day, just say “Jesus, come into my heart, and please start working on me. I know I’m not perfect and I’ve made mistakes, but if you forgive me, which you promised you would, I will follow you, seek you, and love you as I learn how.” and you know what? In that moment, of sincere expression, He is going to walk onto the stage of your life, and start performing a work in you so GREAT, that you will only be able to see how vast, how wide, how far, how rich, how deep, how amazing, how LOVING it was, once you leave this plane and enter into the next, where Jesus lives with His Father in Heaven :)

I love you, God bless you, I pray you will hear Him speaking to you in this very message <3 Blessings!

The Lord is so “awesmazing”, lol as a dear friend of mine, Yinessa Wright, has coined, and perhaps would say. Somewhere between “awesome” and “amazing”, I still find myself without the adequate set of words to describe how GREAT our Father in Heaven, His Precious Son Jesus, and His Magnificent and Comforting Holy Spirit is. All as one… always working… always LOVING - or should I say, always Loving and always working - surely there is no differentiation. Out of His Love for us pours blessings, new sunsets, a tide that receeds in its right time, new food each day from the ground, our daily bread, strength, every good and perfect gift…. How faithful is our God. It grieves me if you don’t believe :( Not for me, but for the Lord who I know is calling you because His will is that none would be lost. Not for me, but for you, who I know would love to be in His care, if you would only believe that He was there… If you don’t think you want to read the Bible right now (though truly, there is no substitute), I recommend a short book called “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” by Phillip Keller. It does a most beautiful job of describing Christ as the Good Shepherd, in whom King David did not want.

Today, I knew I needed to read John. The Holy Spirit speaks, and though Psalms is forever beautiful and gorgeous, He placed John on my heart. You know, I think there’s something I’ve noticed as a believer, trying to walk the path laid before me a little more each day, that there is just a difference in what makes sense to someone who knows/believes and someone who doesn’t. I would love to share with you the immense awe, joy, breath-taking splendor that I experience every time the Holy Spirit reveals something to me in the Word, surely from the Lord Jesus Christ as the Father would have me to know it :D Yet, some don’t know who or even (as some might say) what the Holy Spirit is. Well The Holy Spirit is not a what, He’s a ‘who” fortunately for all of us, and He comes to dwell inside of you when you choose to believe. It’s a fantastic joy to know the Holy Spirit is literally with you, ministering to your spirit, because He shares with you and speaks to you and reveals things to you that you simply could not or would not understand any other way. And truly He reveals so much to us from the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God - the Word is Jesus Christ. God SPOKE the world into existence and His Word is His Son, our Lord and Savior, who is now seated at the right hand of the Father so that His Holy Spirit would come to be with us all. I believe every day more and more I see just how vital it was, as our Lord and Savior knew, that the Holy Spirit comes to be with us - and what a BLESSED gift… God has given us SO much. So much of literally Himself on Every Level. His breath, His life, His Son, His Spirit, Himself!, His LOVE that is just SO real and SO powerful - you almost feel ashamed to know how inadequate you are to return such a love to the Author of all things. And yet, He calls us to boldness! He seeks to give us and call us to peace, to joy, to love, to gentleness, to self control, to goodness, to kindness, and truly to faithfulness  - the blessed Fruit of the Spirit, so that we may live in Him and He in us, so that we may know that we truly are the Children of God, to thus call Him Abba, Father. (Amen)

A wonderful woman in my life, a Mrs. Laura McNeese once “shepherdessed” (haha, I hope she would like that) a fellowship for the College and Career at my church. That night her message, which surely was divinely inspired, was on giving ourselves, wholy to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Trusting in Him, and not holding back. I remember her saying, “Sometimes, it just feels GREAT to say to myself, ‘You (Jesus) are the vine, and I am a branch’. Doesn’t that feel great?” Haha, at the time, which was earlier in my walk by just a few months ago, I thought that was beautiful, and it obviously stuck with me. But tonight, rereading those same Words in John again, I began to cry because it was literally SO beautiful and so real to me. That portion of the passage states,

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is throw away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:5-9.

Some people would read this passage and get to the part about the branch that was thrown away and withered, and suddenly only see someone talking about hell and condemnation and turn away in anger. But that is not the message here. The message here is the Lord, speaking to his flock, to his people, to his children, to you!, simply saying “Remain in my love”, abide in me, and I will give you life - spiritual life, because what is of flesh is flesh, but what is of the Spirit is spirit. I think of my life, and how much it has changed. And I know I could never go back to who I was, what I used to think (or rather not know), or how I used to be. I have to remain in the vine, who is Christ, because truly I am one of His branches, and you cannot imagine what a JOY it is to bear fruit in His name, because of Him, for Him, for others, to our Heavenly Father, being led by His Holy Spirit - who is not of me, but is in me, who speaks to me, but tells me only truth and gives me the most unbelievable comfort (thus, what it means to have Peace that surpasses all understanding). Truly, Jesus is the Lord our God, and without Him, there was nothing anyway. Our Father SPOKE the world into being - Jesus is the Word, and the Holy Spirit, empowers us all. For the Kingdom of God is not in the word of man, but in the Power (1 Corin 4:20) of God, through His Spirit, based on the Word of God sent. (lol, one should really just trust the Lord when looking for a verse in the Bible and not rush to the online Strong’s Concordance. Oh man… learning :) )

I was talking to another girlfriend of mine tonight who said she was trying to meditate and fell asleep. Lol, I started to laugh and said, “well yeah if you don’t meditate on anything!” LoL we ended up talking that out, but David is true when he said, “I will meditate on your (God’s) word day and night”. Truly, the joy, peace, and comfort I have found meditating on God’s Word has changed me substantially from where I was to where I am, and I am so beyond grateful. But how would I meditate on it, if I never read it? If I never took the time to get it into my heart and spirit? This too is an even deeper discussion, but regardless of where you are in life, spirit, thought, etc., I cannot encourage you enough to read the Word of God, written for us in the Bible, which is truly a love letter, complete, magnificent, and simply beautiful. It will bless you - I can’t imagine how it could not if you approach it with a heart even in the slightest bit open. For those fans of Narnia, C.S. Lewis was an atheist who found Christ, and he was and is a life transformed. The Word of God truly is a sword, that cuts between soul and spirit, bone and marrow… <3

In the end, and to the end, this I know is true. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.” (John 14:6). I understood tonight how much more that meant than what I originally had read it as. Truthfully, the God our Father is there, with us, and for us… and some people say they know God, but yet they don’t claim Jesus Christ. And then some say they know both God the Father and the Lord Jesus, yet they seek not to follow His commands. Believe you, me, I am by no means perfect. Yet in Christ, I have found a perfect love, a perfect Savior, perfection. Simply put. And as Jesus said, if you don’t know Him, then you don’t trust the one who sent Him, and if you don’t trust Him, it is true that you don’t know Him. And why would you? You only trust someone after you get to know them, and if you don’t get to know someone fully, you won’t be able to fully say in knowing that you trust them. The time is perfect to get to know the Lord. There is no better time than this. It is a walk of faith. As the Holy Spirit ministered unto me, He reminded me it is a choice that cannot be won in the mind. Because to believe that Jesus rose from the dead is not something you can know in yourself in your brain without first believing it in your heart. Perhaps others would suggest otherwise, but for me, I have learned that this is a heart thing, not something based on the wisdom of men. Even if you knew everything in the Word was true, you would still have to make a choice as to whether you believed it. Believing in Him brings changes. Simply knowing He’s there and not acting on it will not. And too, again, He welcomes you to come and get to know Him, for who He is! He is not a man that He should lie, and if it wasn’t so, He would not have told us. Yet He chose to reveal mysteries to us, to die for us, and by the grace of God (and more than that) was raised again on the third day that those who believe in His name would have eternal life, and life more abundantly! He calls us friends because a friend knows (or can know) what the other friend knows. There are no secrets with the Lord, and He is faithful and just through His Spirit to lead us into all truth, should we simply believe, ask, and receive. The Word is clear, that we have not because we ask not. How simple is that?

The truth is, I just want you to be blessed! I just want you to have the same goodness and FULFILLMENT I have come to know and have given my heart to fully and have never, ever been let down by. Even when the devil has done some truly sad things in my life, God has never let me go. And He’s been calling me since I was a little girl, and always had His hand on me. But, as my aunt told me just yesterday that she was so glad I did, I thankfully, by the grace of God which works in me to will and to do unto His good pleasure, answered that call and didn’t spend another however long waiting, wondering if things could ever be as rosy as I hoped they would be without Him. Instead, I am living and walking in a love that has completely devoured me, and I am happily given away. I am not my own, I was bought with a price, and it is my reasonable service to give my life as a living sacrifice to the one who gave His life for mine.

The Word says, “Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.” There is but one God, our God the Father, and in Him are Jesus Christ and from Him is His Holy Spirit, and all together they are One. If you have spent your life and learned from God, seen His works, simply felt love and understood what it means to appreciate… then don’t turn away. The greatest mistake in life is to turn away from what will be THE defining moment of your life. It was the defining moment of mine :) And I am forever grateful.

God be with you, God bless you and keep you in Christ Jesus our Lord through His Precious Holy Spirit <3    

And the scripture states: “Now it came to pass, as they went, that Jesus entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, ‘Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: but one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

After having a long week, full of blessing and also moments of feeling bogged down, that short, but most beautiful passage spoke to my soul. There are so many times when we just feel so tied up with cares, worries, duties we may actually have and some we may just put on ourselves, with our responsibilities to others, etc etc, that we tend to be too “careful and troubled about many things”. But Jesus said there was only “one thing” that was “needful”, that being attending to the Spirit and the Kingdom Heaven. Our spirits are so very important. Our lives so very valuable that Jesus sacrificed himself that we may have life, and have it more abundantly.

I had a friend just recently, going through many struggles as at times we do, who said he wasn’t worth being saved, or looked upon with love from our Heavenly Father above. I smiled gently (though it was through gchat and he obviously couldn’t see me) and said, “Of course you’re worth it. You’re more than worth it. Jesus found you more valuable than life itself because He died for you.” When we get in places where the devil or just the unrenewal of our minds pushes us into places where we feel like we can’t go on, that we’re not worth being saved, that nothing good is ever going to come from our lives, it’s like saying that Jesus’ sacrifice wasn’t worth every bit of pain He went through, every drop of blood spilt on calvary, every trial he endured when he was three days in the heart of the earth bearing our sins for us, knowing that we ourselves would never be able to pay such a price for our own salvation. But God, our Heavenly Father, raised Jesus from the dead so that we could become His righteousness! In other words, Jesus came back so that we could be saved, so that we could be brought from death to life, and have life eternal in His name. And His Holy Spirit is always, always with us! God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - but we have to learn to lean on Him and trust Him in more than just word but also in spirit and with faith.

It’s always so hard for me to see my loved ones struggling or going through hard times. I pray often the Lord would give me wisdom to be able to help them in some way, and of course, of course I pray for them dilligently, faithfully. But I myself am only one person, I can only do so much. But the Father of all Mercy and the God of all Comfort, is far more capable than I :) And it’s from every one of His promises that I find hope, am made new, and find continued renewal and strength.

Just before Jesus was to be betrayed, He went to the mount at Gethsemane and prayed three times to His own Heavenly Father, asking “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will but thine, be done.” (Luke 22:42). As He prayed, he asked his disciples to stay awake and keep watch, but they kept falling asleep. When Jesus walked back between prayers to find them sleeping, He woke them and said “Pray you do not fall into diverse temptations, for the spirit is willing but the body, the flesh is weak.” It is true that as humans, we get run down, disoriented, a little boggled, overwhelmed at times, confused, and in need of a loving, understanding, nonjudgemental, and wholly devoted Savior. A Father who loves us more than we love ourselves. A Redeemer who knows how to guide us in the paths of righteousness for His namesake. When we take that first step of faith, we begin on a journey, in a race, on a walk, that is forever graced by the awareness of the presence of God. All are in a race, on a walk, in a journey in life. But sadly not all come to know the unspeakable joy and peace that surpasses all understanding that is found in having a relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s so important.

I had a friend once tell me she already had enough wisdom and didn’t need to believe in God to know right from wrong. LoL I wrote back in scripture, and she was totally put off. Later, I went back and apologized, not because I was sorry I shared the Word with her, but because I didn’t want her to think I judged her or had anything less than a heart full of love for her beating in my chest. Lots of people feel that way, think that way, and have kept walking their walk and running their race blindly in many regards. There is no person that goes through life not feeling as if there was something more… and that if they hadn’t found it in any of the things we sometimes think are going to complete and fulfill us - like love, a partner, a job, a passion, a hobby, a life philosophy or lack thereof, whatever it is - there’s just a void there that’s gaping and will always long to be filled. I remember before I came to know the Lord in His fullness as I do now, it was as if I had had a memory or a dream once that I just couldn’t remember. And I kept thinking that if I could just remember… just find whatever that memory or feeling or thought or whatever it was that I was missing and just couldn’t seem to find again… that it would all be okay again. That I could live and deal with pain and sorrow more effectively. That my hope would be alive, and that I could face each day with a heart that was actually full of joy, peace, and love that wouldn’t waver and would always have a true foundation to grow and go off of. But it wasn’t until I found Christ again in my life that that memory suddenly became a reality, that the void was suddenly filled, and SO overwhelmingly so that my cup simply ran over. And all that is in between, from that time til now, has been nothing but a blessing and a triumph and a joy and a hope and a fulfilment and a peace I could have never known without a close, personal relationship with the Lord. It’s not that having love, a partner, a profession you love, passions that move you, joys in life that you embrace are not fulfilling because they are meant to fill our lives. But they are blessings that come from the source of fulfilment, and His name is Jesus :) If that sounds like something you need and want in your life (and you do, and you will, if not now, later, even if you don’t know it yet), then I pray that you will open your heart to the Lord and ask Him into your life. He said He would be faithful to walk in, sit, and dine with you, and He really is :)

LoL, every time I get going like this, there’s always such a love, joy, and just overflowing of things to say and things I’d like to share. But I also believe that we can find good places to stop for a time, so that we’ll have more to offer later :)

Jesus said, “Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon (the wisest, weathiest earthly Jewish king, ever) in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Luke 12:27) From verses 27 to 40 are the beautiful promises of God’s faithfulness and His great understanding of our time here on earth. His love, is “a love that always invites us to be with Him”. <3